Forgiveness Of Love
by Fires Of Raze
Summary: Ennis decides he can’t keep going on with his and Jack’s secret relationship up on Brokeback but will he be able to stay away for long and will Jack be willing to take him back? Heartbreak warning... Please R&R!


_--- Disclaimer: I don't own Brokeback Mountain or its characters, nor do I own the song. It's credited fully to the Backstreet Boys with the exception of changing 'girl' to 'boy' just for the fic ---_

_--- Summary: Ennis decides he can't keep going on with his and Jack's secret relationship up on Brokeback but will he be able to stay away for long and will Jack be willing to take him back? Thanks for reading! ---_

**Forgiveness Of Love**

"Wha' you mean we cain't do this no more Ennis?"

"I mean no more rodeo… No more secret trips up here… No more o'this…"

Jack took a deep shuddering breath as he stared at the other in front of him, trying to control the building hurt and anger inside.

"This is bullshi' Ennis… There ain't no reason why we cain't do this no more, you're jus' too stubborn!'

"I cain't help it Jack! I cain't help it… I jus'…"

"Cain't love another guy cause ya don' wanna be thought of as some queer, right? Don' wanna be with someone who fuckin' loves you ju's cause he's another guy an' people don' like tha', right? Well fine! Go back ta your fuckin' trailer an' live your sorry ass life alone then! You are too much for me Ennis…"

He turned away and Ennis bowed his head slightly.

"Got nothin' ta say, huh? Course ya don'… Ya never did an' I'll be damned if ya ever do…"

"Jack…" Ennis started but Jack interrupted, his own rage being fueled by his extreme hurt.

"No Ennis… I don' wan' no more a your bullshit bout how you 'just cain't do it no more'. If you cain't find it in yourself ta love me no more then go away… Jus' go away…"

Tears started to fall from Jack's eyes as he stood there but his back was to Ennis so the other couldn't see.

"I'm sorry rodeo…"

Ennis whispered and turned away himself, glancing back only once as he got in and drove away, both believing he was driving right out of Jack's life forever.

----- Two Months Later, Dream Sequence ----

"_Ennis… Ennis please don' leave me… Ennis…"_

"_I'm sorry Jack… I jus'… I gotta go…"_

"_Bu' I love you cowboy…"_

"_Don' Jack… Please don' tell me tha'… I havta go…"_

_He turned away, trying to block out Jack's pleas when the first shot rang out and the pleas immediately fell silent._

"_Jack?"_

_Ennis turned around and gasped softly. Standing there, his mouth still half open and his eyes wide, was Jack. He looked down at his shirt slowly and whimpered as the material quickly stained a dark red._

"_Jack…"_

"_Ennis…"_

_More gunshots rang out and Ennis found himself screaming along with Jack, the whole area sprayed with bright red blood._

"_Ennis!"_

---- End Dream Sequence ----

Ennis awoke with a start, still screaming with tears streaming down his face. These nightmares had been occurring so often lately… Ever since the day he'd left Jack up there on the mountain after what was supposed to be their last goodbye. He was starting to realize though, that living without Jack there was quickly becoming all too hard. He'd lost weight over the last two months they'd been separate and though it hadn't been a lot, his doctor was concerned the depression would lead to more.

"I cain't do this… I… I need him I… Oh Jack… Why'd I ever let you go…"

_Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you  
Baby I was wrong  
Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone  
It was time that we moved on  
I know I broke your heart, I didn't mean to break your heart  
But baby here I am _

Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you  
Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in?  
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you

The phone rang at the Twist residence and Jack answered quickly.

"Ello?"

"Jack…"

The voice on the other line whispered and Jack's eyes widened.

"Ennis… Wha'… How'd ya get this number?"

"I looked ya up rodeo… I… God Jack I'm sorry…"

A soft sob came over the line and Jack sighed softly.

"I'm sorry Ennis… I cain't let ya do this. You… You don' love me, member?"

"Bu' Jack I'm sorry! I do love ya I…"

He sobbed over the phone and Jack sighed again.

"Good bye Ennis…"

"No Jack please…!"

The phone went dead and Ennis dropped it to the floor, falling to his knees as he sobbed into his hands.

"Please…"

------ The Next Day -------

"Jack? Someone's at the door for ya… Seems pretty impor'nt."

Jack looked up at his wife and put down the magazine he was going through.

"Who izit? I ain't expectin' no one…"

Laureen just shrugged and walked away.

"I don' know, wouldn't say nothin' cept ta ask for you. I'll be in my office if ya need me."

She called as she went into her office and closed the door. Jack sighed softly and stood up, tucking his shirt in more as he made his way to the door.

"Course ya will be… Where else would ya…. Ennis…"

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the disheveled man in front of him. His eyes were red, he noticed first off, and he had oil on him from having to fix the truck a few times. His clothes also didn't seem to fit as well and when Ennis shifted slightly, Jack could see that he was defiantly thinner.

"Hey rodeo…"

The other whispered softly and Jack ran a hand through his hair slowly.

"Wha' the hell you doin' here Ennis? I told ya no more…"

"Please Jack… Gimme another chance… I… I love you boy… Please…"

"NO Ennis…"

Jack said, trying to make his voice sound stronger than his heart, which was faltering at the sight of Ennis' renewed tears.

"Jack please… I need you…"

"…Good bye Ennis…"

Jack managed to say quietly and closed the door, locking it in case Ennis tried to reopen it, which he did.

"Jack!"

He called as he frantically tried to open the door then fell to his knees in tears again, his head bowed and his hands slapped vainly on the door.

"Jack please… please…"

_I know you're in there and you can make me wait  
But I'm not gonna wait  
It's the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face  
I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell  
__Boy I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad  
But baby here I am _

Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you  
Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in?  
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you

After several minutes, Jack's heart took over from where he stood right inside the door and he unlocked it slowly then opened it, his heart wrenching to see the state Ennis was in…

_If you could see these tears I'm crying  
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking  
Hear my heart that's barely beating  
You will see a different man _

But baby here I am  
Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you (come on)  
Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in? (let me in)  
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you

"Ennis…"

He said softly and the other looked up at him, the devastation and desperation clearly visible in his eyes, making no words needed to show how deeply sorry he really was.

"Come'ere cowboy…"

Ennis staggered to his feet and went slowly into his arms where he continued to cry into Jack's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Jack…"

"Shh… Shh…"

Jack whispered as he held him and Ennis slowly wrapped his arms around him as well.

"Could ya forgive me rodeo…? For turnin' you away?"

Silence for a moment and then…

"Yeah cowboy… I forgive ya…"

"…Thank you…"

_Banging on your front door (darling)  
My pride spilled on the floor  
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you, yeah  
Now I'm crawling back to you  
Crawling back to you  
Crawling back to you  
Crawling back to you_

_---- So how do you like it? It's a lot longer then my other song fics and probably one of my saddest but it has a happy ending at least! Anyway, please, as always, review and tell me what you think! Thanks! ----_


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